VERY Guilty Conscience...
by CloudS1
Summary: Another parody of one Eminem's songs. This time, it's Guilty Conscience. This one was a little bit harder to write, so pleas R & R!


VERY Guilty Conscience **__**

VERY Guilty Conscience…

I don't own Final Fantasy VII or any of Eminem's songs (too bad…v_v) I'm a poor teen so don't sue my @$$. Enjoy and review when you're done with it. Please?

* S – T – A – T – I – C*

****

(It's a very cold night in Rocket Town. A messy man is walking down down the sidewalk. An announcer pops up out of nowhere.)

Announce: Meet Cid. 39 years old. Fed up with life and the way things are goin', he decides to rob a drug store. But on his way, he has a sudden change of heart, and suddenly…his conscience comes into play…

Aeris: (angel side) _All right, stop!_

Cid: Huh?

Aeris: _Now before you walk in the door _

of this drug store 

to get money out of the drawer,

you better think of the consequences.

Cid: Who the hell are you?

Aeris: _I'm your very careful conscience!_

Sephiroth: (devil side) _That's nonsense!_

Go in and take all of the money from your aunt's crib

And borrow a damn dress and also a blond wig.

Tell her you need a place to stay

And you'll be safe for days

If you shave your legs with her friends razor blade!

Aeris: _Yeah, but if it all goes through like it's supposed to,_

The whole neighborhood knows you,

And they'll expose you.

Think about it before you walk in the door first,

Look at the store clerk, she's older than Scarlet…THAT'S WORSE!!!

Sephiroth: _F**k that! Do that s**t! Shoot that b***h!_

Can you afford to blow this s**t?! Are you that rich?

Why you give a f**k if she dies? Are you that b***h?!

Do you really think she gives a f***k if YOU have kids?!?

Aeris: _Man, don't so it! It's not worth it to risk it._

Cid: You're right!

Aeris: _Not over this stuff._

Sephiroth: STOP!!!

Aeris: _Stop acting so tough._

Cid: I will (runs off)

Aeris: _Don't even listen to Seph, Cid! It's bad for you!_

Sephiroth: _You know what, b***h?! I don't like your attitude…_

* S – T – A – T – I – C *****

****

(Dance music can be heard as a long-haired guy tries to hit on a girl named Yuffie at a rave.)

Guy: Look, let's just come upstairs for a minute.

Yuffie: Oh no!

(They both go upstairs and lock the door to drown out the music)

Yuffie: Damn…

Guy: Look, it'll be all right, all right?

Yuffie: Okay…

(As they start making out, the announcer pops up out of nowhere)

Announcer: Meet Vincent. 29 years old (yeah right…). After meeting a young girl at a rave party, things start to get hot and heavy in this upstairs bedroom. Once again, his conscience comes into play…

Sephiroth: _Now listen to me. _

While you're kissing her cheek

And smearing her lipstick, 

Slip this in her drink.

Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little b***h's earlobe…

Aeris: _Hey, this girl's only 16 years old._

_You shouldn't take advantage of her!_

It's not fair!

Sephiroth: _Yo', look at her bush. Does it got hair?_

Vincent: (smiling) Uh huh!

Sephiroth: _Screw this b***h right on the spot bare,_

'till she passes out,

and she forgets how she got there.

Aeris: _Hey, haven't you ever seen that movie,_ _Kids?!_

Sephiroth: _No, but I'm watching the porno,_

And it's not over yet…

Aeris: _Man, do you want to get hauled off to jail?!_

Yuffie: (makes very pleasurable moans)

Sephiroth: _Man, screw this b***h, then you can rot in hell…_

* S – T – A – T – I – C *

( A young man comes home in his car)

Man: Damn! It feels good to be home…

Announcer: (pops up out of nowhere) Meet Cloud. A 21 year old ex-mercenary.

After coming home from a hard day of fighting, he walks in the door of his summer home, to find his girlfriend in bed…

Tifa: (makes very pleasurable moans)

Announcer: With another man…

Cloud: WHAT THE F**K?!?!?!

Tifa: Cloud!!!

Aeris: _All right, calm down, relax and start breathing…_

Sephiroth: _F**k that s**t! You just caught this b***h cheating!!!_

While you're at work, she's with some dude trying to get off!

F**k slitting her throat!

CUT THIS B***H'S HEAD OFF!!!!!

Aeris: _Wait, what if there's an explanation for this trick…_

Sephiroth: _What?! She tripped, fell, landed on his d**k?!?!_

Aeris: _All right Sephy… _

You not have been ready,

But think about your lady

Before you get all crazy!

Sephiroth: _All right, thought about it, still wanna stab her?_

Grab her by the throat,

hit the mother and kidnap her?!

That's what I did, be smart! Don't be a retard!

You're gonna take advice from someone who just injects kids arms?!

Aeris: _What did you say?!_

Sephiroth: _What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?!_

Aeris: _I'LL KILL YOU, MOTHERF**KER!!!!!!!!!_

Sephiroth: _Ah, ah ah! Temper, temper!_

Flower girl. Ms. I'm gonna hurl!

Ms. I'm gonna screw you if my brains go in a tilt-a-whirl!

How in the f**k are you gonna tell this dude not to be violent?!?!

Aeris: _So he'll never take the weird road that I did._

Been there, done that!

Aww, what am I saying?!

Slice'em both, Cloud!

Where's your sword at?

(sounds of screams, bones breaking, and slicing can be heard as the screen fades out…)

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I hope you like it! This is my second parody. Please review. All comments (good or bad) can be sent to [Cloud_S_@excite.com][1]**. **

   [1]: mailto:Cloud_S_@excite.com



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